My First Born son I celebrate you and 28 years of blessings today.

Oh, my dear sweet child. If only I knew the things that I know now. You were my first child, and to be perfectly honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had to learn it all with you,  because of you I became a Mother. And for that I am so grateful.

Nikolas

I fell in love as soon as

I heard your heartbeat!

 God knew I needed you first to help mold me into the Mom I needed to be. You did that. From the sleepless nights you gave me when you were just an infant… to the times I couldn’t take my eyes off of you when you finally closed your eyes. From the time when I first heard your little laugh… to the time when we were both rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. From the time when you were inconsolable and I had no idea what to do… to the time when only Mama could make it all better. I have loved you more than I ever loved another human. I have prayed more than I ever even knew how to pray. You did that to me. I loved you from the moment your I saw your little heart beat. At that very moment when I met youI knew you were a boy. I knew I would name you Nikolas and call you Niko. I drove home from the doctor after seeing your heart beat grinning ear to ear. That truly was the happiest day of my life. Many happy days followed after that and you continue to make me smile. If the phone rings or even just a text my heart races and beats as strong as yours did the first day I met you on that ultra sound. Your first picture was taken that day. This was your first of a life time of pictures. From your first heart beat until my last heart beat I will pray for you!

You were so little yet you taught me so much about being a mom. I’m sorry that you were at the center of all of my trials and errors. I wanted so much to get it right. I think my expectations of you when you were that small were unrealistic. I spent so much time worrying and stressing that I didn’t allow myself to just enjoy the the simplicity of your childhood. You were my first. Never again will I get the chance to do it over. You grew so fast. One minute I was rocking you to sleep in my arms, and then I blinked and you were graduating college. Where did the time go? I am so thankful I captured these moments on camera and preserved or memories.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back and do it all again. I want to go back and cherish those moments. The moments I lost, stressing and worrying. The moments I savored playing, dancing, singing, riding bikes. We spent time together alone, just you and me until your sisters came along. I spent time just holding you.

I spent time reading with you, the naps we shared, the classes we took, the teams you played on and I coached. You were my entire world, you changed my entire world. You were my game boy, the man of my house and my heart. You turned out to be an amazing person, more than I could have ever imagined. Just know that I love you so, so much. That will never change. You will always be my first little love, nothing will take that away. I am so proud of the man you are. You are great example for your sisters and I couldn’t be more proud.

The truth is, my amazing son, you will always be my first child. You will always be the one who taught me how to be the best mom that I can be. You will always be my first baby…always. That will never change. You paved the road for your younger siblings. That was a big job, I know.

 

I've always loved you because you were my first miracle.You were new, you had an unused Nana, you had so many clothes your closet looked like Mama was having triplets. You were the original model for a mom who was just trying to figure out life for herself. You helped me figure it out life. I thought it was I that would teach you but know you have always taught me everything I know. Your sisters came along and things got crazy beautiful and you all shaped me into the Mom and person I am today. But my son you were the beginning!

Being a mom to you has been the greatest joy of my life. Know that I will love you forever. You grew up, I had to let you go spread your wings and become the person God intended you to be. I’ll never forget that you were the one who made me a mom.

Happy 28th Birthday Niko-Man. I love you with all my heart & soul.

Mama

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” (Robert Munsch)